Coming soon, to a stage near you —The Boot

Ok. There is an upside to this.

Kilted onstage in the US while the Scottish men's footballers play in the World Cup finals seems like a no-brainer.

But there are practical considerations. A kilt is not straightforward to travel with at the best of times. And on tour, sleeping on buses overnight, you need to be able to open your tour suitcase in a parking lot in a rainstorm and grab clean underwear in seconds — having eight yards of artfully pleated wool to deal with while rummaging for a sock on a sidewalk in Tuscaloosa is friction you don't need.

With the boot in play, the kilt starts to look very practical. Other than cargo shorts or harem pants, there isn't much else you can wear with a Vacoped boot. Shorts never feel right on stage, and Kris would leave the band if I took to sporting clown pants.

So the kilt takes priority in the suitcase, and with only left shoes to pack there is ample room.